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  Either way, I'm excited for the day. I've decided to spend the rest of my afternoon with Mia. It's a surprise for both her and her mother. I'm planning a trip to the park, and then maybe ice cream. Just as with Marlena, I need to make a point of having alone time with Mia. They're the most important people in my life, and I need to make sure they know that. Too often I put work first, staying late at the office, putting in hours on weekends so we could get ahead. I need to find a better work/family balance.

  With the towel wrapped around me, I open the bathroom door. Still naked, Marlena is draped across our bed fast asleep. She looks like she hasn't moved at all.

  "Marlena," I call out. She moans but doesn't open her eyes. "Marlena. Did you check on Mia?"

  "Oh shit." Marlena shoots up. She jumps to her feet and sways.

  "Hey, are you okay?" I ask, helping steady her.

  She nods but won't look at me.

  "Sorry, I just . . . I just wanted to close my eyes for a minute, and now my eyes are blurry."

  "It's fine." I kiss her forehead.

  Marlena doesn't waste any more time. She picks her clothes up off the floor, gets dressed, and heads out of the room to check on our precious baby girl.

  I close the button on my jeans when I hear Marlena squeal, followed by, "What did you do?"

  In five seconds flat, I'm in Mia's room. First, I give my daughter a quick once over. She's fine. Then I give the room a cursory look. Gelatinous handprints of some sort are everywhere: on the walls, on the carpet. I look closer and I see greasy globs all over her furniture as well. An open jar of petroleum jelly is on the floor. I look back at Mia and see the goo all over her. It's in her hair, on her face, and all over her mouth. I think she even managed to eat some.

  "Get over here!" Marlena growls at Mia, causing our daughter to back away and cry. "I said get over here!" Marlena yells as she grabs Mia's hand and yanks her hard, knocking her off her feet.

  "Easy there," I warn, reaching for my hysterical ball of grease.

  "Do you see what she did? What am I supposed to do?"

  "Clean it," I answer, not at all liking the way my wife is reacting.

  "No shit, smart ass. I don't even know where to begin. It's like she tried to paint the room with it."

  "Maybe if you got up off your ass like you were supposed to instead of taking the time to sleep, you would've been able to stop it, or at least caught it before it got so bad."

  "So it's my fault she did this? You're the one that wanted to fool around," she yells.

  "You were the irresponsible one that left the jar where she could get it."

  "Fuck you, Troy. I left it on the changing table. She climbed up and got it."

  Marlena turns and stomps toward the door, only she's not walking in a straight line and smashes her shoulder into the side of the door jamb. She winces, but I'm so mad at how she's acting, I don't bother asking if she's okay.

  "Where are you going?"

  "Away from you."

  "Get your ass back here, Marlena."

  She doesn't answer, doesn't look back. She goes into our bedroom and slams the door shut behind her. Not knowing what to do, I take Mia into the kitchen and start wiping her down with paper towels.

  Chapter 5

  Marlena

  "Boy, do you work fast," I say to Cooper as Selene pulls her blonde hair back to show off the diamond teardrop earrings he just gave her.

  Cooper gives me a knowing smirk.

  "Coop says I have you to thank for them."

  "I just made the suggestion, he did the rest."

  Troy enters the living room carrying Mia, who still has a greasy film in her hair. Our eyes meet. He's still pissed. My stomach slams through the floor, straight down to the center of the earth. Good, let him be mad. I am too. I pull my eyes from his and put my focus back on my guests. Shit, this is awkward. We haven't spoken since I locked myself in the bedroom two and a half hours ago, and the tension between us fills the room.

  "I'm glad you could make it¸" Troy says to Cooper and Selene, making sure not to look at me again.

  He's such an ass. Why can't he at least pretend things are normal between us? Why does he have to embarrass me by broadcasting that we have problems? Everyone has problems. They just don't bring the rest of the world into them.

  "Hey babe," Cooper says, taking Jaxson from her arms. "Can you go with Marlena to get me a beer?"

  "Of course." Selene grabs Cooper's shirt by the collar and pulls him down to give him a quick peck on the lips. If it were any other time, I'd enjoy watching her lead Cooper around by his dick, but right now, it only reminds me of how I'd like things to be with Troy. Everything sweet that happened between us earlier only made his words sharper, slice deeper.

  "He just wants to get rid of us." I smile at Cooper and send my husband a warning look. I don't know if he picks up the meaning behind it. I'm not sure about anything with him anymore.

  I lead the way into the kitchen with Selene close behind.

  "Marlena, I know we haven't known each other that long, but I consider you a good friend, and if you need anything, I hope you know you can turn to me."

  I pull two wine glasses out of the cabinet, pull the cork out of the bottle waiting for me on the counter, and pour some into each glass. "Of course. But everything's fine."

  "Okay."

  She doesn't say anything more, but I can hear in the way she said the one word she doesn't believe me. I close my eyes, ready to regroup, but the room spins worse with my eyes closed than with them open. One breath, two breaths. On the third one I find the strength to move. Reaching into the refrigerator, I pull two bottles out and hand them to Selene.

  "Can you give these to the guys while I get the dip?"

  "Sure. Can I help you with anything else?"

  "It's okay, I've got it."

  I wait for her to leave the room before I grab the ceramic bowl with the artichoke dip off the counter. After two steps toward the door, the bowl drops from my hand and crashes on the floor, breaking apart and splattering across the kitchen.

  "Fuck!" I mutter. I had no shot to stop it from happening because I never felt it slip. It's not like it became too heavy. It's more like all of a sudden I had no control or feeling in my hand.

  "Marlena?" Troy rushes into the kitchen. He looks down at the mess on the floor. "Are you okay?"

  "I'm fucking wonderful." My eyes water. The shock of what happened is wearing off, and now I'm pissed. Super pissed. "Do me a favor? Just go back to Cooper and Selene."

  "They can get by on their own for a few minutes. I want to be here with you."

  "Why? It's just one more mess I'm irresponsible enough to let happen."

  He steps over a large area of artichoke dip, makes his way over to me, and reaches his hand behind my neck. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

  Anger bubbles up and rises inside me, like hot lava of a spewing volcano. I'm angry at him, at Selene and Cooper for being here, but most of all at myself. I'm trembling, and I don't know if it's because I'm mad, or embarrassed, or because I've lost complete control.

  One minute everything in my life seems wonderful, and I mean everything. Troy, Mia, it's like I have the perfect life. The next minute the world is spinning and I can't get a grip, so I pull away and lash out. Only those minutes when I'm dizzy and disoriented have now turned into days, and I can't fake it anymore. I'm not okay and I don't know how to fix this. All I want to do is crawl into a corner somewhere and sleep it off.

  "It's fine." I lie, dropping to my knees, pulling away from his touch. I start picking up the larger pieces of the bowl, but I forgot to get the garbage pail. I have nowhere to put them. My whole body slumps as I let out a long sigh.

  Understanding what I need, Troy pulls the pail out from under the sink and places it next to me. "I'll go tell them tonight's not good."

  "Don't you dare."

  "Marlena, if you're not feeling well . . ."

  "They're here, so let's make the best o
f it."

  "Cooper will understand."

  "I don't give a shit if he understands or not." My voice is too loud, I'm practically yelling, but I don't care. "Just go back in there and leave me alone."

  Troy stands, runs his hand through his hair, and looks down at me with furrowed brows.

  "I make mistakes, but I'm trying. Sometimes I get upset and I say shit without thinking. You should know by now I don't mean it. There's something going on with you, and I wish you'd let me in and tell me what it is, but you keep pushing me away. And the difference is you mean to do it. You mean to make me feel like I don't have a place in your life anymore."

  *

  I don't know how long it takes me to pull myself together, but I manage to clean up the mess before anyone comes back in to look for me. I take another minute to look in the pantry for a snack to offer our guests. After filling a plastic bowl with pretzels, I'm ready to face the music.

  "Hi, beautiful," Troy reaches his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to him when I enter the living room. "I missed you."

  He kisses my cheek, and I'm not sure why he's being so nice.

  "We ordered the pizza," Cooper explains. "And we made sure to ask for paper plates, this way there's less to clean up."

  Selene smiles. It's kind and sympathetic. I'd go so far as saying it's a knowing smile, as if she's in on a secret. A secret about me. I take a good look at each of them. They all have weird looks on their faces. I feel very much like a carnival curiosity on display. I can't help but feel like they're handling me with kid gloves, waiting to see what I do next.

  And then the conversation picks up, I guess, where it stopped when I entered the room.

  "That bastard picked the all-inclusive honeymoon package at the most expensive resort on the island because he knew I was paying for it," Cooper complains.

  I tune the rest of what he says out. I've heard him go on about this since Noah and Lexi booked it. Still, I can't wait for them to get back. I'm ready to confide in someone, and that someone is Lexi. We got very close since she and Noah started dating, especially since my sister's recent divorce. I do my best not to bother her, or my mother who is at her beck and call.

  My mother has her hands full between my sister's divorce and my father, who has Alzheimer's. I don't know how she does it. With all that, I know what she doesn't need: to be saddled down with the minor bullshit going on in my life.

  "Come sit." Troy leads me over to the couch and pulls me down onto his lap. I'm stiff and rigid. For a change, he doesn't complain. Instead his hand moves up and down my arm, then circles around my back until I loosen up and relax against him. When I do, he relaxes and squeezes me tighter. It's one of those moments when everything between us feels right.

  The rest of the night goes over without a hitch. Troy is never far, and he can't do enough to help me. There's no sharp attitude coming from him, no cutting words meant to hurt or belittle me. He looks at me with warmth in his eyes. He's attentive and charming. He's my Troy. The man I love and cherish. The one that makes me feel like the luckiest girl alive.

  Chapter 6

  Troy

  I need to find a way to break this cycle. Fuck up, apologize, fuck up again. I need to stop and think before saying the first words that come to mind. I don't have a choice. If I don't, I'm going to push Marlena away for good.

  "I knew I should've stayed in the kitchen and helped her," Selene's voice breaks my train of thought.

  "I don't think it would've made a difference. She's pissed at me because of something I said to her earlier. Mia painted her room with petroleum jelly, and I sort of blamed Marlena because she fell asleep when she was supposed to be checking on Mia."

  "She's very tired?" Selene asks with a sly smile.

  I nod. "She's tired, forgetful. I just don't know what's going on with her."

  Cooper and Selene share a look as he pulls his wife into his arms.

  "You really don't have a clue, do you?" he asks.

  "About?"

  "Have you been using protection, dumbass?"

  I think about the question. Marlena's supposed to be on the pill, but the pharmacy left a message that they put her prescription back on the shelf because she never picked it up. Did she leave it there because she knew she didn't need it anymore? Could that be what's going on? Is Marlena pregnant?

  "You think?"

  "I didn't act at all like myself when I was pregnant."

  "You could say that again." Holding Selene's back against his chest, Cooper wraps his arms around her shoulders and kisses the top of her head. "I love you babe, but you were a time bomb of emotions." His eyes meet mine. "When they're like that, you have to just let shit go. And I mean everything."

  "Yeah, you're the fucking expert. Selene was an emotional mess because of you, Cooper."

  He shakes his head. "Whatever. It doesn't look like you're having much better luck with your wife."

  "It doesn't, does it."

  "For what it's worth, I'm sure she just needs to feel the love. For me, the worst part was the way my body changed. I felt fat and ugly," Selene shared.

  "If you didn't shower for a week and wore a potato sack instead of clothes, you still wouldn't be ugly," Cooper said with a wink.

  "I don't see how she could feel ugly." Not with the way things have heated up between us sexually. She has to know how attracted I am to her. "And why wouldn't she tell me?"

  "Maybe she's worried about how you'll react, especially if it wasn't exactly planned," she looks at Cooper when she says it.

  It still doesn't make sense. If she's pregnant, she knows I'd be happy. Marlena's the one that wants to wait until Mia's two. Unless it's because of the fighting and bickering. Yes, the sex has been great the last couple of days, but the rest of the issues are still there. If they weren't, Marlena wouldn't risk slicing her hand open on the jagged ceramic pieces rather than accept a little help from me.

  "Just try to be extra attentive. Help her out. I'm sure once she's feeling better about things, she'll tell you. Or maybe she's waiting for her doctor to confirm everything. Hell, maybe she doesn't even realize she's pregnant yet."

  *

  "Do you want me to read to Mia?"

  "No. I feel really bad about the way I yelled at her earlier. I can see she's been avoiding me all night."

  "Nah, she's just rewarding me for the extra Daddy time."

  "It'll make me feel better."

  "Okay." I kiss Marlena on the top of the head and pull her by the waist to me so I can whisper in her ear. "I'll finish cleaning out here, and I'll meet you in the bedroom. I still have some groveling to do for being such a jackass."

  She pulls away and shakes her head. "It's fine."

  I reach for her hand and bring it up to my lips, turning it palm over and kissing her sensually. "Let me grovel," I say, taking the time to trail kisses up her forearm, in the crease of her elbow, all the way up her shoulder to her neck.

  "Mmm."

  I stroke her cheek with my thumb as I pull back and stare into her eyes. She's frozen, staring at me with a dreamy look, one I haven't seen in years.

  "Marlena," I whisper, hoping it sounds every bit as enticing as it's meant to sound.

  "Yes?" she asks, her breath hitching, anticipation etched on her angelic face as she continues to stare at me in her trance-like state.

  "Go put Mia to bed." I smile.

  "What? Oh, yeah." She looks away, like she suddenly woke from a wide-awake sleep. "Give me a few minutes."

  I laugh as she takes Mia by the hand and looks back at me before leaving the room.

  *

  I have a good fifteen minutes, twenty if I'm lucky. In the last six months, anytime we'd argue, the night ends with Marlena lying on her side crying herself to sleep and me pretending I don't hear her.

  Not anymore. I'm owning up to my shit while at the same time trying to pound my way through the walls she built up around her. I don't know if Cooper and Selene are right about her being pregn
ant, but either way, I need Marlena to feel how important she is to me.

  While she helps Mia change into her pajamas, I steal a bottle of bubble bath from Mia's bathroom. I wish I had something scented, more romantic, but for tonight the pink solution will have to do. I light the scented candles Marlena loves so much and turn down the lights. The water is warm and ready. So am I. All I need now is my wife.

  The few minutes it takes for Marlena to come back into our bedroom have me pacing with nervous energy.

  "What's this?" she asks, peeking through the door leading to the master bath.

  "This is your reward for being the best wife and mother in the world."

  She turns to me with a "yeah right" look.

  "It's also my way of saying I need to sew my mouth up so stupid shit doesn't fly from it anymore."

  "Hey," her hand reaches up to my face and rests along the stubble of my short trimmed beard. "It's over. You were mad, I was mad. It's all good now."

  Her words say one thing, but her trailing eyes and voice say another.

  I raise my hands up to her face, step in close, and rub the back of her neck. "You know you can tell me anything. I mean absolutely anything."

  "I know." She pulls away from me and takes a few steps toward the Jacuzzi tub in the master bathroom.

  I reach for her and pull her back to me. I stare at her, not sure what I should say, trying to figure out what it is she needs to hear.

  "Wow. I don't remember the last time I took a bath."

  "I thought we might take one together." I say, kissing the back of her neck while pulling the hem of her shirt up.

  "Really? But every time I've asked . . ."

  "Every time you asked, I was a dick. And somehow thought a bubble bath would emasculate me."

  "Emasculate? Really?" I see the humor in her eyes and in the curving corners of her lips. "Then why say yes now?"